Switzerland- Schauenstein- ✪✪✪

This is it- I found it. The most romantic, epically cool building of any 3-star restaurant in the world. Schloss Schauenstein ("Castle Schauenstein") has portions that were built almost 800 years ago, and the main building itself is a few hundred. It's situated in Fürstenau, which quite confusingly brands itself as the "smallest city in the world." Fürstenau appears to be a small clutch of snowy buildings, which I would deign a village, but no one asked me.

Another opening comment- service from the moment the door opened to the moment I left was absolutely and totally outstanding. I had driven through a very late-Spring Alpine snowstorm to get there, and perhaps because they were happy someone had braved the weather to join them, proceeded to be the kindest and most attentive group I have ever spent time with. Bar none.

One more quick word before we really get started- Andreas Caminada really feeds you. There is only one main menu option, and it is totally badass, but holy mother of God will you get full. Arrive hungry.

I got the chance to meet Andreas at the restaurant, and he is a calm, collected, well-centered soul. He runs something of a cooking and media empire in Switzerland, and he clearly has ambitions for much more beyond his many already successful restaurants. Someone to keep an eye on.

FURSTENAU, SWITZERLAND

SERVICE: 9.5/10

FOOD: 8.5/10

PRICE PAID: $285 PP (LIST PRICE- PRE-CHALLENGE)

VALUE/MONEY: 7.5/10

FINAL SCORE: 8.5/10

Lisa the guest services coordinator happily greets me right at the door. She gives me the tour and shows me the gorgeous original 12th-century basement, which today houses a wine cellar, a sauna, and a spa. Modern furniture and fixtures throughout, which is a fun contrast with the absolutely ancient surroundings.

After our brief tour, I’m led upstairs to what was once a nobles’ salon and is now… a Vodka bar. Bright under-lighting gives the room a decidedly Muscovite feel, and on the other side of the room a glorious marble fireplace blazes away. Sweet.

More than any other 3-Star I’ve visited, Schauenstein is trying hard to make a go of the mobile era. There 2D scan-enabled cards— roughly business-card size— randomly distributed around the castle (in the menu, the parking area, the sauna, etc.) and several members of the staff make mention of the app you can download that lets you take a 3D tour of the castle itself. Scanning the cards unlocks achievements and new features of the app. Sounds hokey, but it’s actually pretty entertaining to be constantly on the lookout.

First Bites: Bloody Mary Shot + Graham Cracker Pasta/Kohlrabi +  Foie, 8/10 — First Bites: Bloody Mary Shot + Graham Cracker Pasta/Kohlrabi + Foie, 8/10

As I sit lounging by the fire, several helpful people bring me a menu, a glass of Swiss-made sparkling white wine, and a few small starter bites.

The bite on the left reminded me of Kylo Ren's ship from Star Wars: The Force Awakens, for some reason. Anyways. A light crunchy snack, served alongside more delicate pasta. Really fun. 9/10.

At this point, I was asked if I'd like to take my seat in the main dining room. I was politely led back downstairs to the main dining area, where I found this fantastic little piece of chiaroscuro:

I cannot help but admire the extremely stark lighting scheme, as well as the flawlessly perfect tabletop surfaces and understated decoration. Every table felt directly spotlighted, which had the effect of keeping all the patrons shrouded in darkness, effectively giving each table a great deal of privacy. It was an admirably thoughtful effect that highlighted the colors of the food while letting the patrons enjoy each others' quiet company.

A riff on beet soup with a frozen sphere of beet ice cream and a super-crunchy beet leaf, together with a mustard mousse. The ice cream is rock-hard cold- you have to chip into it with your spoon- the mustard pairs well and all the flavors are zesty and refreshing. A bit salty, but delicious. Really neat idea; frozen instead of hot. 9/10.

The next amuse-bouche is a small square of Val Lumnezia chicken presented with smoke! The aroma fills the room in a pretty excellent way. Freeze-dried, smoked corn is also a nice touch and pairs more or less perfectly. Another win. 9/10.

Course 3: "Village on a Lightning Plate," 9/10 — Course 3: "Village on a Lightning Plate," 9/10

This course is meant to evoke the raw, green beauty of the village where Caminada was born- Maiensäss. Maiensäss is at the top of the mountain where the cows graze, and this dish is a birds-eye view of that three-house village. The artist who makes these "lightning plates" out of iPads lives a few villages away. One house is a Grisons meat parfait (also known as Bündnerfleisch, an air-dried meat that is a specialty of the canton of Graubünden, Switzerland). Another is a tail-of-veal jelly, and the third is a collection of pearl barley, peppermint, and a vinaigrette. 9/10 for creativity, and definitely for flavor. A bit odd to be dining off an iPad, but I’m all for new things.

And now onto the bread, which I have to say was another huge win- piping hot, served in a black cloth, and covered in flour. The butter comes in two versions- sweet and salted with fleur de sel. Tastes oven-fresh and basically perfect. 10/10.

Course 4: Egg + Truffle + Celeriac Soup, 8/10

Next, a course of egg, truffle, and celeriac soup with mushrooms. The soup has a vegetable stock base with local truffles from the canton of Grisons. Lots and lots going on here, and it mostly works out well. The celeriac forms a nice starchy base, and the broth ties everything together well. 8/10.

Course 5: Swiss Char + Tartar Sauce, 8/10

Swiss char (who knew?) with a play on tartar sauce. On the side, raw fish under a layer of cream. Parsnips are a good choice, not overwhelming; an easy pairing. The fish is just a touch not-fresh. 8/10.

Course 6: Langoustine + "Variation of Carrot," 8/10

Next, some aggressively-plated langoustine with a "variation of carrot." The broth includes just a touch of dill. The soup is lawsuit-hot, which is a little surprising since temperatures have been relatively mild up to now (makes sense with the late-Spring snowstorm). The carrot has been cut into beautiful red scrollwork, and the flavors and textures are masterful. 8/10.

For a restaurant several thousand miles from the cultural heartland of BBQ, these are the most excellent pork ribs one could possibly expect. They were, once again, served very fucking hot. Lightly glazed with a tomato-and-vinegar based sauce; once again just a touch dry. 7/10.

Course 8: Braised Pork Cheek + Pickled Vegetables, 7/10

Braised pork cheek with decadently salted, delicious pickled vegetables. One of the prettiest, most intensively-prepped dishes I have ever encountered. 7/10.

Course 11: Tortellini + Parmesan Foam, 8/10

Some decadent tortellinis, served with a "foam of Parmesan." The Parmesan heightens the salinity of the dish quite considerably, but quite wisely the chef serves the pasta itself relatively al-dente to downplay the saltiness. 8/10.

Course 12: Cured Pork + Beans + Apple + Cinnamon, 10/10

Cured pork with beans- the beans are perfect with the bacon- served alongside a gloriously American-tasting apple and cinnammon compote. The flavors work together to absolute perfection. 10/10. Feels a little bit autumnal and hence out of season but I care not.

Next, a somewhat confusingly titled "rocket salad," wit pumpkin seed oil from Austria, pikeperch fish (also known as Zander) with variation of pumpkin The green sauce is extract of arugula, which might be where the name comes from. The fish is extremely fresh and the starchy vegetables complement it well. 8/10.

The final main savory course- lamb. The curly things are potato-like; the tiny kumquats add a citrus flair and are a great touch. Smoky and spicy, extremely good. 8/10.

The cheese cart was all about showcasing the great diversity of Swiss products (beyond Emmethanl "Swiss cheese" obviously). I was offered a selection of cheeses from Andeer village aged to different degrees- 3 month vs 15 month, etc.

My favorite was a really incredible cheese called Vacherin Mont d'Or. The product is made only from summer milk, has a lovely dry grass smell, and deep rich flavors that I absolutely loved. 9/10.

A selection of cured meats from different local producers in Grisons and elsewhere. The meats are presented first, then delicately carved up and served alongside some roasted pear and compote. 8/10.

On the side, a typically swiss dessert of "Malloons"- potatoes with cream and sugar.

And now onto the sweet stuff- first, a quince and apple dessert. The coin-shaped apple mush has the flavor and consistency of really sweet baby food. The soufflé in the upper right is excellent, it's just absurdly fucking hot. Burned my hand on the dish like a damned fool. One small note is I would have liked more heads up about dishes to watch out for. 8/10.

A collection of small dessert bites- green apple macaron, raspberry tart, "coffee slice," on closest dish. Next on left- chocolate ganache. Uppermost- a strawberry explosion similar to the Bloody Mary starter. 8/10 overall.

Walking back out into the snowdrifts, I couldn't help but admire once again how gorgeous this place and its grounds are. If I ever return, I would definitely consider renting one of the handful of guest rooms the Castle offers. This place is a truly incredible gem.